Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
