I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
