I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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