I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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