If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
