i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
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