Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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