Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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