Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
