It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
