so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
this boner is exhausting
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
