So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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