If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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