i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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