The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
