how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
