I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
