After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
