Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
