U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
