Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
