Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
