i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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