I just made out with a guy for $7.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
