if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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