Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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