My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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