'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
