it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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