Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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