YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
