I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize