Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
