Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
