i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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