she looked like the before picture.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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