since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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