I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
this just has baby written all over it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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