ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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