1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
