Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
