I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
