Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
