I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize