Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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