We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
