I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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