But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This baby is an asshole
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
