hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
