Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
