found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
