Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my shit smells like andre
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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