you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
