Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
