I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
