He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize