i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Someone signed my nipple.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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