My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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